Shame on me
by BlackPearlShadow
Summary: Jack finds the fountain of youth and spends three days in 1996, but thirteen years later he is given a rude awakening. Swords fights, Will Turner the III, sarcasm and utter craziness ensue, and once again someone else sails off with the Pearl, Savvy?...


Jack stared out across the purple water. Yes, the water was purple, it was a good sign. The fountain of youth was close now.

"What ya think'n 'bout cap'n?" asked Gibbs, somewhat hesitant.

"Well Gibbsy, my friend, I am thinking about how sweet the taste of liquid life is going to taste. Why do you ask?"

"Well cap'n, its just that some of the crew has been talk'n and, well, we think that this has become a bit o a lost cause, so to speak."

"A lost cause," mused Jack. "Well I, in fact, do not think this voyage is a lost cause. This means me and _my_ ship will be continuing on this voyage. But you and the crew are free to jump ship at any time."

"On second thought, we may have just had a bit to much to drink last night, is all," Gibbs explained nervously, slowly taking a step back.

"I thought that might be the case," replied Jack, snapping his compass shut. "Now back to work, the lot o ya!" he shouted at the small crowed that had grown.

The crew quickly scattered and went off to tend to the ship, or do other pirate type things.

Captain Jack Sparrow's brows furrowed in confusion. The map said that the fountain of youth was directly in front of them.

He glanced over the side of the ship and indeed saw a fountain. It was a jet of water that went about a foot into the air and made a slight gurgling noise.

"Oh bugger," he muttered. The ship was slowly going over the 'fountain' if it could even be called that.

He was contemplating a way to tell the crew that they had come all this way for nothing when the ship started turning.

Gibbs was looking shell shocked at the wheel that remained completely still. Yet the ship was still spinning and actually seemed to be getting faster.

The crew began clutching to whatever part of the ship that was nailed down. And soon the ocean and sky became a blur.

"Captain! Is this supposed to happen?" shouted Pintle.

"Errrm... yes. " replied Jack, although it sounded more like a question then anything else.

The boat started changing. The dark wooden beams became white and shiny. The sails were gone and a roof formed over top of them. Black windows and carpeted floors were also added.

_Not good, not good, not good at all,_ thought Jack.

The boat had seemed to have stopped spinning so Jack decided to analyze his surroundings. There was a glowing thing the likes of which Jack had never laid eyes on. It had green words on it.

Dear Captain Jack Sparrow,

We are pleased to inform you that you have successfully entered the year 1996. If you look in the mirror to your right you will find yourself looking quite odd. I assure you that you look like the average man in 1996. This ship is a yacht, Cotton's parrot is now a dog called a chihuahua, you are called lawyers and since you are a pirate legend you should pick fake names. You have three days to do as you please.

"Why on earth am I taking orders from the Pearl?" asked Jack rhetorically.

_Arrf! _Came a sound from behind them.

Cotton was holding a pink bag with a over sized rat in it.

"Cotton?" Jack asked suspiciously to the clean shaven man. _Arrf! _"Cotton's Parrot?!?!?!" he gasped. "Well men, we have the run of the town tonight so meet at the Pearl this time in three days.

The crew quickly ran of f into a town filled with lights. Jack barley walked off of the dock when a young woman walked up to him.

"Hey, my name is Tessa, is there any way I could hide on your boat?" she asked with a sweet smile, but there were not so sweet intentions behind that smile, intentions that Jack had seen many late nights in Tortuga.

"Of course, love," he replied with charm. He grinned at the way her eyes lit up when she heard his accent.

Tessa explained to Jack that she was hiding from her drunken stepfather and that she was so very thankful that he was so very, very nice to her.

"You are very, very nice too, love," he said looking deep into her eyes.

"But I can be very, very bad," she said, inching closer to him.

_Well she is not as angelic as she looks_, he thought.

They kissed, and they danced, and they drank, and then...

Liliana was a thirteen year old in the body of an eighteen year old.

She had double d's and a rounded ass that some girls would kill for. She didn't have a completely flat stomach, but it had feminine muscles. And she had dark brown hair that went to her lower back with a natural soft curl.

Oh how perfect she seemed, but she was no where close to perfect.

Her mother was only seventeen when she gave birth to Liliana May Sparrow. Her mother, Tessa Lenea wasn't even sure if Sparrow was her father's actual last name but she gave the man the benefit of the doubt.

Tessa's father had kicked her out once he discovered a positive pregnancy test in a trash bin one morning. Tessa had lived with her baby girl in various homeless shelters ever since.

They moved to the Caribbean because, in some places, there was no legal drinking age, therefor, Lily was able to work in a bar as a second job.

According to her mother, Lily knew her father had lived in the Caribbean. She secretly hoped that he would come find her one day, but alas he never did.

Mean while, while his daughter was taking off her cloths for pocket change, our favorite pirate pal was living it up with Scarlet and Giselle in Tortuga.

"....And then they made me their chief." finished jack with a gold toothed grin.

The girls fawned over his tales of heroism, courage and sea turtles while Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"Cap'n," he interrupted. "We are due to return to that voodoo witch in less then five hours. We best be on our way."

"Well ladies, I have places to go and people to see," announced Jack and he stood up from his bar stool. He wobbled a bit before catching his balance, this was because Jack enjoyed his rum a bit more then he should.

"Bye Captain!" the two girls giggled.

And just like that, Captain Jack Sparrow was on his way to the gloomy river shack of Tia Dalma.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Jack Sparrow."

"Tia Dalma! Your looking as radiant as ever!"

"Okay, what you be wanting?" asked the dark skinned witch.

"Well I hoped you could tell me," he answered.

"You know, I be wondering why I gave ye that compass in the first place. But you be right Captain Sparrow, I know what you be needing."

"Oh splendid, what is it? Treasure? immortality? a kingdom to call my own? Come on, speak up woman!"

"It be a treasure of sorts, though I be doubting you'll see it as that. And speaking of immortality, do ye remember the trip to the fountain of youth all those many years ago?"

"But of course, I haven't aged a bit ever since," replied Jack with a genuine smile. He took a step forward and banged into a jar dangling from the ceiling. "What are you getting at?"

"Jack, ye made love to a young woman that night, did you not?"

"Indeed I did, and why is this relevant?" he asked yet another ignored question.

"Her had a child Jack. Her had your child....."


End file.
